But for real...

In my 14 years of professional experience in human services, and nearly 20 years studying and pursuing this career in mental health, it’s fair to say I’m a lifer for this profession. I’m obsessed with humans and doing my part to contribute to the improvement of the human condition. I eagerly await the next 30 years of my career, and I know exactly how rare that is.  I treasure the honor of being a therapist every day. I take this responsibility very seriously.

Here’s a story about my professional journey to entrepreneurship.

It’s 2014 and I’m sitting in a job interview for a case management role in homeless services in Asheville. I'd already been around the block in human services by that point. I tell deadpan jokes throughout the interview, a coping skill I later recognize as the dark humor that lots of trauma survivors and people who do heavey work use to deflect fear and pain to connect with others.

When asked the question, “Why do you want to work with unhoused people?” I will never forget the answer that spontaneously flew out of my mouth. I said, “Because I recognize the reality that every one of us is one traumatic life event or medical bill away from homelessness, and I am no exception.” 

Three years later, after making a home and community for myself at that job, and learning one heck of a lot about reality, I’m writing an application paper to graduate school for counseling. I state:  “I am where I am today as the result of a relatively stable childhood, and a number of other factors that managed not to harm my development. As a person who has the ability to pursue meaningful work–not because of merit but because of unearned privileges–I feel committed to being of help to others.” 

In those years in homeless services, I’d seen what a lifetime of traumas and setbacks will do to a person, and I’d learned just how thin our nation’s social safety nets are. While I know that hard work and determination make a difference, I am certain that meritocracy is a false ideal. People can’t bootstrap their way entirely through life’s hardships or systemic limitations. We need help from other people.

I also saw that what I couldn’t do in case management was help folks heal the initial, core traumas that resulted in their devastating situations. It wasn’t my role. Now I am honored and satisfied every day to facilitate that healing work as a therapist, which is prevention of worse outcomes for everyone that I serve.
 

When I began my private practice, I was in utter disbelief that I had become a business owner at all… since internalized misogyny had convinced me that entrepreneurship was for grown men. Out of sheer need to establish a sense of wellness after all those years with high exposure to human suffering, I chose to lessen my daily vicarious trauma load with an intention of being  a solid clinician for fewer people. I put trust in my years of experience, ability to learn new skills, make great relationships, and use strong clinical judgment. 

Nothing has improved my life more than starting to work for myself. Nothing has relieved my workplace frustrations and provided more growth opportunities and empowerment than being my own benevolent, encouraging boss. I can do so much more direct good in the world this way, and I can seek wellness on my own terms at the same time. 

Everyone is worthy of finding their way to wellness, even in the unjust world we are in. 

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Nobody deserves a burnt-out therapist. Everyone deserves a therapist who is clear about their needs, and growing.

Now I focus on helping other conscientious professionals literally maintain their sanity while encountering really hard shit on a day-to-day basis. 

Another transition that’s providing paradigm-shifting insights for me is becoming a parent... but that’s a story for another day.